I write everything on this blog with the understanding that somewhere, there's someone who's thought the same as I have on a given subject. I'm not smart enough to be original, so that reasoning is solid. As I've said before, reading about someone else's experiences with anxiety and loneliness helped me deal with mine better.
Being alone is a weirdly taboo subject. Talking about it when you're single makes people think that you're sad and lonely. Talking about it when you're in a relationship makes people (especially your partner) think you want to be sad and lonely. Either way, nobody wants to talk about it. (Which is fine, I'll talk to myself about it and enjoy the irony. Mmm, sweet, delicious irony)
It's easy to confuse "being alone" with "being lonely". I've spent the better part of an hour typing and deleting and retyping what I mean by that "profound" statement. Being alone for the last couple of years has really helped me figure out what I'm about. After roughly 10 years of being in relationships, it feels like I've met someone new because I've never actually taken the time to think about who I am as an individual. (Honestly, that could be the most eye-rolling, cliche thing you've read while someone is trying you convince you they like "being alone") One of the things I've realized is that someone's opinion of me shouldn't alter how I feel about who I am. I've spent long enough compromising myself to a point where I thought drastic personality changes where just a part of growing up. It's not, and while a little compromise in any kind of relationship can help it grow, it has to be an equal effort from all parties involved. (I'll end this paragraph here before it sounds more like a somewhat angry legal document)
Over the last couple of years, being lonely has been a result of me being bored with my own company. I've learned to compensate by being a bit weird. (Or weirder, if you're reading this and you know me personally) It seems to entertain people and, frankly, I like making people laugh. For the first time in ages, I've felt creative. I've started drawing, I've been building my own LEGO creations (which is a totally adult thing to do shutup), I take a bunch of stupid pictures with props and that's all it takes to sate the encroaching feeling of isolation. There are hundreds of different, positive ways to help alleviate feelings of loneliness. It's just about finding the ones that work for you. You don't even need to get other people involved. Do it for yourself, then share it with others if that's what you want to do. People generally think making yourself happy is inherently selfish. That's only true if it's at the expense of someone else.
I've got a solid group of friends who support me in ways they maybe don't realise. (Possibly because I'm terrible at vocalizing my appreciation towards anyone, but that's a topic for another time) Being alone isn't the scary social void it's made out to be. It's just about balance and finding positive outlets.
Regardless of whether you're alone or lonely, you are not alone.
Being alone is a weirdly taboo subject. Talking about it when you're single makes people think that you're sad and lonely. Talking about it when you're in a relationship makes people (especially your partner) think you want to be sad and lonely. Either way, nobody wants to talk about it. (Which is fine, I'll talk to myself about it and enjoy the irony. Mmm, sweet, delicious irony)
It's easy to confuse "being alone" with "being lonely". I've spent the better part of an hour typing and deleting and retyping what I mean by that "profound" statement. Being alone for the last couple of years has really helped me figure out what I'm about. After roughly 10 years of being in relationships, it feels like I've met someone new because I've never actually taken the time to think about who I am as an individual. (Honestly, that could be the most eye-rolling, cliche thing you've read while someone is trying you convince you they like "being alone") One of the things I've realized is that someone's opinion of me shouldn't alter how I feel about who I am. I've spent long enough compromising myself to a point where I thought drastic personality changes where just a part of growing up. It's not, and while a little compromise in any kind of relationship can help it grow, it has to be an equal effort from all parties involved. (I'll end this paragraph here before it sounds more like a somewhat angry legal document)
Over the last couple of years, being lonely has been a result of me being bored with my own company. I've learned to compensate by being a bit weird. (Or weirder, if you're reading this and you know me personally) It seems to entertain people and, frankly, I like making people laugh. For the first time in ages, I've felt creative. I've started drawing, I've been building my own LEGO creations (which is a totally adult thing to do shutup), I take a bunch of stupid pictures with props and that's all it takes to sate the encroaching feeling of isolation. There are hundreds of different, positive ways to help alleviate feelings of loneliness. It's just about finding the ones that work for you. You don't even need to get other people involved. Do it for yourself, then share it with others if that's what you want to do. People generally think making yourself happy is inherently selfish. That's only true if it's at the expense of someone else.
I've got a solid group of friends who support me in ways they maybe don't realise. (Possibly because I'm terrible at vocalizing my appreciation towards anyone, but that's a topic for another time) Being alone isn't the scary social void it's made out to be. It's just about balance and finding positive outlets.
Regardless of whether you're alone or lonely, you are not alone.
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