Sharing is caring. (There, I've started off a blog about dealing with anxiety with a cliche, I can tick that off the "Dumb Generic Things To Do" list.) It is though, that's the sad truth of it. Over the next "I don't know how long" I'm going to share my experiences with anxiety in the hopes that someone will read it, go "Oh good, it's not just me" and maybe learn to cope a little better with their day-to-day lives. Peace of mind for a mind that can be a piece of shit, so to speak.
I'm not some guru or expert, to look at my qualifications you'd think I was a lobotomised turnip. I'll punctuate a lot of what I'm saying with what I think passes for humour, most of it self-deprecating. I'm not being glib, it's just a way I've found to make getting my point across easier. This entire blog was inspired by two fantastic books I've read called "How to Survive the End of the World (When It's In Your Own Head)" by Aaron Gillies (@technicallyron on Twitter, follow him), and "The Idiot Brain" by Dean Burnett (@garwboy on Twitter). It was these books that showed me learning about someone else's experience with anxiety and why the brain does what it does, respectively, can act like a balm. They worked as manuals for knowing thy enemy, in this case, my own brain. It's not a cure by any stretch, as at the end of the day you have to put your own work into getting out of your toxic headspace but it can pave the way for a more manageable mind.
Anyhoo, on to the first topic of choice. (Yeah, that was just the introduction... Sorry) Very much inspired by Aaron Gillies' book as near the end, not to spoil things, he asks the reader to write down what their own definition of anxiety is. For me, anxiety is like being in an abusive relationship, but with yourself.
You're constantly scared, you feel trapped and useless. You tell yourself you're not good enough and eventually you start believing that lie. (And it is a lie)
Not to put too fine a point on it, but your brain is one of the worst people you're ever going to date. Unfortunately, you can't leave your brain. You can stand up to it though, as it is you. (It's one of the few examples of being the louder one in the argument doesn't make you the insane looney)
Learning to stand up for yourself against yourself is one of the hardest things you can do. (Not made easier by external, negative factors obviously) But it's very necessary, and knowing that you aren't the only one in your situation helps. (Or it helped me, so it stands to reason it might help someone else)
That's it. That paragraph of about 200 words is what anxiety is to me. Tldr? Being trapped and sad is bad, find the strength to fight back. As I've said, for the next while I'll be writing posts about various situations I've found myself in and how they've essentially made me the person I am today. At the end of the day, I just hope it can help.
My name is Gavin and you are not alone.
What was that?
What?
Was that the introduction to the whole blog?
Yeah...
Hmm.
What?
Oh, nothing. Just didn't say much, did it? Also, that end bit, what's that about?
It said enough to get the premise across and the end bit is fine. It's conveying the whole point of writing this thing. You can be a bit of a dick sometimes.
Yes, so I've read...
I'm not some guru or expert, to look at my qualifications you'd think I was a lobotomised turnip. I'll punctuate a lot of what I'm saying with what I think passes for humour, most of it self-deprecating. I'm not being glib, it's just a way I've found to make getting my point across easier. This entire blog was inspired by two fantastic books I've read called "How to Survive the End of the World (When It's In Your Own Head)" by Aaron Gillies (@technicallyron on Twitter, follow him), and "The Idiot Brain" by Dean Burnett (@garwboy on Twitter). It was these books that showed me learning about someone else's experience with anxiety and why the brain does what it does, respectively, can act like a balm. They worked as manuals for knowing thy enemy, in this case, my own brain. It's not a cure by any stretch, as at the end of the day you have to put your own work into getting out of your toxic headspace but it can pave the way for a more manageable mind.
Anyhoo, on to the first topic of choice. (Yeah, that was just the introduction... Sorry) Very much inspired by Aaron Gillies' book as near the end, not to spoil things, he asks the reader to write down what their own definition of anxiety is. For me, anxiety is like being in an abusive relationship, but with yourself.
You're constantly scared, you feel trapped and useless. You tell yourself you're not good enough and eventually you start believing that lie. (And it is a lie)
Not to put too fine a point on it, but your brain is one of the worst people you're ever going to date. Unfortunately, you can't leave your brain. You can stand up to it though, as it is you. (It's one of the few examples of being the louder one in the argument doesn't make you the insane looney)
Learning to stand up for yourself against yourself is one of the hardest things you can do. (Not made easier by external, negative factors obviously) But it's very necessary, and knowing that you aren't the only one in your situation helps. (Or it helped me, so it stands to reason it might help someone else)
That's it. That paragraph of about 200 words is what anxiety is to me. Tldr? Being trapped and sad is bad, find the strength to fight back. As I've said, for the next while I'll be writing posts about various situations I've found myself in and how they've essentially made me the person I am today. At the end of the day, I just hope it can help.
My name is Gavin and you are not alone.
What was that?
What?
Was that the introduction to the whole blog?
Yeah...
Hmm.
What?
Oh, nothing. Just didn't say much, did it? Also, that end bit, what's that about?
It said enough to get the premise across and the end bit is fine. It's conveying the whole point of writing this thing. You can be a bit of a dick sometimes.
Yes, so I've read...
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